Common Reactions to Loss

School
Grieving teens may not be able to focus during class and begin to have lower grades. They may have changes in work habits or have truancy issues. Teens attempt to mentally make sense of their death experience and therefore have little energy for anything else. It may look like day dreaming or not attending to an assignment or lecture.

Hints: talk to the teacher to learn ways to help teen keep up with school work. Have a study buddy help with classroom assignments and projects.

Crying
Crying can be a good release for teens. Some teens may tear up but not cry. Some teens may choose to cry in private or in a place that feels safe to them or even alone. Teens may fear that once their tears start, they will become too overwhelmed. They seek some control over their life. They fear embarrassment or don’t want to feel the pain of their grief.

Hint: It is OK to cry with or without tears. Each of us is unique in how we express grief.

Eating problems
For some teens, grief is expressed primarily through their bodies. Teens may experience indigestion, nausea, constipation, or increase in eating or maybe a decrease in their eating habits. These experiences may go unnoticed by people around them. A physical exam by a trusted doctor can help guide and support a teen to find healthy outlets for their grief.

Nightmares and dreams
Many teens have dreams that may be comforting, frightening, hopeful, or scary. Very detailed dreams or visitations or conversations with the person who died may happen often.  The dreams or nightmares disturb a teen’s sleep and therefore a teen may become fatigued and irritable.

Physical reactions
Many teens have physical changes or reactions to death.
-weight loss or gain
-headaches or migraines
-anxiety or panic attacks
-sleeping more or less
- muscle aches
-stomach aches
-heavy breathing or increased heartbeat
-dizziness
-changes in vision
-problems with constipation or urination
-congestion or dry mouth
-frequent colds or other illness.

Hint: Seek medical attention for support.

Play
Teens often express themselves through a variety of activities. Engaging in sports, video games and movies are some of these activities. Play can be a healthy and effective way to express grief.